My Redeemer Lives

This isn’t how I wanted to spend the weekend.  I didn’t want to spend 6 hours in the hospital yesterday.  I didn’t want doctors telling me not to lift my children.  I don’t want to feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.  I don’t want to contemplate tomorrow’s activities.  I don’t want to remember that we lost our baby. 

But we don’t get everything that we want.  Otherwise I’d never do laundry again and always get to take a nap when I felt like it. 

Last night I couldn’t sleep.  I kept thinking about the old song My Redeemer Lives.  Some may remember it:

My Redeemer lives, and I will see his glory as he works all things together for my good. Whatever things occur, of this I can be sure: I know my Redeemer lives. 

That song, and the one that goes

I will bless the Lord forever. I will trust him at all times. He has delivered me from all fear. He has set my feet upon a rock. And I will not be moved. And I’ll say of the Lord You are my Shield, my Strength, my Fortress, Deliverer, my Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present help in time of need.

Finally I quietly turned on the light and opened my Bible to Jeremiah.  My eyes fell on this verse:

I am the Sovereign Lord, the God of all mankind.  Is anything too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27)

So simple, so true. 

Yes, there are lots of things about my life that I can be unhappy and fearful about.  Like I said to my husband yesterday, my life sucks right now.  But God never guaranteed us a perfect life.  He never said that everything would go well. He promised to walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death.  He promised to always be with us and comfort us.  But he never said that we wouldn’t have problems, or grief, or sorrow and loss. 

My Redeemer DOES live.  And he is the Sovereign Lord, the God of all mankind.  There is nothing too hard for him.  Not the loss of a baby. Not the sentencing hearing tomorrow.  Not the rest of my life.  I can be confident of that, and take comfort in that.