July 25, 2008

The Saga Continues

First off, how in the world do people have time to blog? Especially mothers? I don’t get it. Right now, I’m peeking out the window as Ladybug plays happily on the swing set (which she told me is better than the neighbor’s swing set, because HERS has a TIRE SWING). Wild Thing is with the Man of the House, who took the day off today (in reality, he’s just working from home… one can never stray too far from work email and the laptop). I’m supposed to be filling up the wading pool and figuring out what to make for dinner. Instead, I’m surreptitiously typing away at my computer, hoping my husband doesn’t notice, trying to get this blog post done.

Anyway, I have to be quick, and fortunately there isn’t much to say. I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to make it stretch on for eternity though. Feel free to stop reading halfway through. Just don’t tell me so, or you may hurt my feelings.

I went to court today and got another continuance (rescheduling!) for next Friday. I have been granted (at least) 7 more days with my family. And 7 more days of waiting and wondering and hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I also got assigned to a new judge, one that I have seen before. I liked her. Hopefully she’ll like me, too, and have compassion on me and my situation.

I also gotta say this: Please, hear my heart through all that is on here. I made a terrible, awful mistake. A terrible, awful mistake that has very visible and far-reaching consequences. Before you judge me and my situation, before you decide that I am a terrible wife and mother, before you make an assessment of my character and condemn me as a hypocritical Christian… take a minute and contemplate the concept of mercy. I make no excuses for what I did, and will not seek to justify the bad choices that I made. And I live with the consequences every moment. I also live with the knowledge that, but for the mercy extended to me through Jesus and his forgiveness, I would be stuck in those bad choices for the rest of my life. Instead, that mercy has given me an opportunity to rebuild. To restore good where bad was. And maybe even given me a story to share, and a way to extend hope to other people, that the same mercy that I experience can be theirs as well.

8 comments:

madrekarin said...

What you did doesn't matter. I have just read your entire blog and find you to be a deeply faithful woman, who loves her family and who knows that there is always someone on her side.
The gift of the Atonement plays a part in our lives that goes unnoticed until we need it. It is your time. The process of repentance can be painful and challenging, but at the end of the journey is a peace like no other. That is the gift that is promised to each and every one of us. That is the blessing that will come your way.
My prayers are with you.

Denise K. said...

I just read your latest posts, "Mercy" and wanted to let you know that I will be keeping you in my prayers that you will have peace in your journey...Whatever the situation, I will pray for strength, wisdom, and peace of the Lord to see you through. Keep us posted so that we might be able to pray for you specifically...I will say a prayer for you right now, and am sending a big hug across "cyberspace." Hang in there...Denise

Anonymous said...

I happened upon your blog today. I cried as I read your story. I am praying that you get the outcome you want out of your situation. I do have to admit though that you have me very curious as to what you did...

Chris said...

Hello. It seems as though you don't want to reveal what you did, but do you know how long you may be gone? I kept wondering that as I read all of your posts. How long will she possibly be gone? I commend you for even having this blog, and I commend you for bearing the weight of what you do on your shoulders. Your faith in God and the support of your family and friends will get you through. I can't imagine the feeling of maybe leaving my children. I am sorry for that. Please keep us posted somehow, so that we may know how to encourage in the future. Thank you.

SFW said...

Praying for you and your family. No matter how far we have strayed we are never out of His reach. Praying for mercy for all involved. (((hugs)))

Spymommy said...

I've just happened upon your blog and am in tears as I read it.

Just as we watch our own children fall and make mistakes, then feel joy when they are back on their feet again, a loving Father looks at you, his child, in the same way. You are a woman of deep faith and I commend you for the courage it takes to make right your wrongs. May your family be blessed by your desire to apply the Atonement of Christ in your life and change.

emily said...

Aren't you glad you enabled your comments!? I knew there would be lots of readers out there who would want to communicate with you and walk with you on your journey, as little or much of it as you choose to share with us.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mercy,

You and your family are in my prayers.

Many Blessings :)
Ace