August 1, 2008

Another Delay

I don’t know if I should really call it a delay.  We went to court today, did a bunch of legal stuff, wrestled with calendars and court schedules, and finally were able to get the sentencing hearing reset for Monday, August 11.  Ten days from now. 

This herky-jerky stuff is wearing on me emotionally.  This is my FOURTH scheduled sentencing hearing.  This will be the fourth time I’ll go through all of the mental farewells.  I was a wreck last night putting my children to bed.  I don’t know how I’m going to get through all this.  Living in limbo, unsure of our future, unsure of how to make plans, is really a test of my faith.  And my husband’s faith, and my parents’ faith too, as we are living with them.  Aren’t we so good at planning things out, deciding on how things will be? Instead of making plans and saying, “If it’s the Lord’s will, then I’ll do this, or go there.”  I guess I just want to know if I’m going to be around for my son’s 2nd birthday, or my daughter’s first day of school, or first loose tooth, or next Christmas, or my next wedding anniversary! 

I need to go take a nap while my children are sleeping.  I have been sleeping so poorly lately and it isn’t helping anything.

I just thought of something: my new camera comes on August 6, so at least I’ll have an opportunity to play with it.  And, I can reschedule my doctor’s appointment from Monday the 11th to Friday the 8th and get to hear the heartbeat.  Not to mention that I have 10 days of time with my children and my husband to look forward to.  I still have many things for which to be thankful.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your situation humbles me to the stressors in my life and I pray that your repentance, restitution and precious children will cause even the new judge to grant you a great deal of mercy. May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard the minutes, hours and days of your heart until August 11. I am praying for you.

Brooke said...

how agonizing....

emily said...

Still thinking of you...my eyes flew open in the middle of the night last night with you on my mind. I will keep praying.